A Different Kind of Mercy
by He Who Writes Monsters
Summary: Orochimaru made a promise, at the grave of his parents, that he would never create orphans – never subject others to the horrors he had himself endured, no matter what other horrors he may commit, he would never force another to relive his own experiences


A Different Kind of Mercy:

**A/N: #2 in my Scarlet Sins series, even though I'd kinda promised to do Sasori... I hit a bit of a bump with that story, (and rather than release it unsatisfactorily, I'd rather delay it until it's as good as _I_ want it to be) so made this during school instead. Like Zetsu, Orochimaru is a _very_ interesting character, and I hope I do him justice.**

"Orochimaru." The Snake Sannin glanced at Leader-Sama, as his blurred silhouette spoke. "We have a mission… that you are most suited to. An Assassination mission."

"Oh? How _interesting_, kukuku." After having listened to Leader-Sama giving out missions of extortion and sabotage, he relished in the fact that _he_ would murder, whilst the others embarked on much less interesting missions.

"The Daimyo of the Land of Rice Fields has been… uncooperative. He, alone of all the Daimyos of the minor nations, refuses to consider us as an alternative to the Shinobi Villages. It would be beneficial to us for him to be removed, making way for a more… accommodating Daimyo."

"Oh? There's no challenge in killing civilians, Leader-Sama."

"They must be killed in a certain way – through a poison that seems to be a disease. It will then be claimed to be 'divine judgement', and not a shinobi assassination – making the Daimyo's successor less likely to blame us. You, Orochimaru, are the most proficient here with poisons."

Orochimaru spared a glance towards his partner, and Sasori gave a disinterested shrug as a reply. Only Orochimaru would know that the implied insult would rot and fester beneath the wooden exterior of the Puppet Master.

"Well, this makes things interesting. I won't disappoint, kukuku." He grinned, as Leader-Sama dismissed him. Seeing Sasori remaining in his meditative pose, he smiled again. Someone else would have to deal with the resentment of the puppet master. Sinking into the ground, he began contemplating the ingredients he would need for his poison.

--

The estates of the Daimyo were sprawled out in the centre of a half-dozen farming villages and their rice paddies. The gates were swamped, with people trickling in and out in a steady stream, either peasants that sought counsel, or tax-collectors, or any other agent of the innumerable retinue of the Daimyo. Orochimaru picked out one, a young man, and trailed him back to his home. As he opened the door, a slender hand grabbed his neck, long fingers crawling around his throat in an iron grip. A quick blow to the back, and his neck snapped. All of this quicker than he could make even a strangled scream. Dragging the corpse inside, Orochimaru began to make seals, before reaching for the man's face…

He entered the estates unchallenged; wearing the face of another, returning the smiles sent his way with smiles of his own. The muscle memory of his new face guided him, to the expressions most likely to be used by this man. It became apparent, quite quickly, that the face he stole had belonged to a quite high-ranking official, and nobody challenged his entry anywhere – he was even admitted to the Daimyo's sleeping chambers, after concocting a story about medicine. After brief consideration, the guards shrugged.

"You are his physician," the lead one said, and Orochimaru chuckled mentally. How fortunate – this would make everything much simpler. _Of course. Use those _close_ to the target, _make_ them complicit, make them _traitors_, one way or another. _

When he had finished his investigations, he returned to the home of the physician, and buried his body beneath the earthen floor, covering the dislodged earth with a rug. It would have been simpler to burn the body, and safer, as there would be less chance of discovery, but Orochimaru could not stand the acrid smell of roasting human flesh – It always reminded him of his parents, slaughtered before his eyes, their bodies made into monuments of their demise, whilst their memories were defiled by the manner of their death.

No… he would not revisit that, not willingly. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his mind, and filled it with facts. There were thirty-two members of the Daimyo's family, and close to a hundred servants. They came into contact often, especially at mealtimes, which would be the best time for his poison to be applied. He already had a poison in mind – slow to kill, dissolving the victim from the inside out. A creation of his inspired by the venoms of spiders. It needed only a few minor modifications, to make some superficial differences in appearance.

He was disturbed by a knock on the door, and snarled angrily. He did not take kindly to being interrupted. Opening the door, he paused as a girl stood there – pre-pubescent, smiling at him, eyes closed.

"Ohayo, Kiyoshi-Kun! Ka-San made a salve for the burn on your… arm…" she trailed off as she looked at Orochimaru's conspicuously unmarked forearm. Her smile faded almost instantly as she saw that, and became something part-fearful and part-furious.

"Who are you?" she said, and stepped back, the moment that Orochimaru realised that she could see through him. "Who are you? What've you done to Kiyoshi?" Orochimaru opened his mouth to respond, already deciding that he would have to kill her, but the girl was already running, and he swore. If she escaped him, she would complicate things immensely. He started after her, but stopped almost immediately – there were too many people about. Thankfully, none seemed to have heard the girl's accusations, but if he chased her, and she then disappeared, they would suspect him.

"Foolish child," he muttered, and set off at a slow pace, following her to her home. He tried to recall what ingredients his poison would require, but her face blocked his thoughts. How annoying… he would need to eliminate her.

She lived within the estates, in quarters set aside for servants. Orochimaru considered killing her, and damned be the consequences – he could not tolerate her dominating her thoughts, and the risk of exposure remained great. However, she remained silent, not answering even the calls of her room-mates. Orochimaru considered this, from his hiding-place. She was in shock, most likely – shock in seeing an intruder wearing the skin of a friend. She would remain quiet; try to make sense of what she had seen, before blurting out her suspicions – sensible, not spontaneous. He smiled, flashing pearl-white teeth under a scarlet tongue. He would dispose of her later… He frowned suddenly, as her face still intruded upon his thoughts, unwanted, _unwelcomed_.

Why? Pale skin, sharp eyes… she was a ninja, or had ninja potential, at least, to see through his disguise… He hadn't expected to encounter any non-civilians on this mission, but even so, she should not have been able to see past his false mask. How awfully perceptive… was it a Kekkei Genkai, or some latent ability? And why was she in his thoughts?

--

He spent the whole night waiting for her, attached to the dark corner of a ceiling like a spider, eyes trained on the door to her quarters. He knew she would awake; plagued by nightmares, and it troubled him to realise that she would do so because _he_ had done so, in the weeks after his parents' murder. Likewise, he knew that she would take a walk, in the cold night, to try to clear her head, before making a decision.

Hours after she had gone into her quarters, the girl emerged, looking in the dark for him. Orochimaru smiled, despite himself – she had convinced herself he was some bogeyman, tucked away in the dark corners of the world, waiting to pounce on her. Then she straightened, eyes hardened.

"No such thing…" he heard her whisper, and she took a stride away from the relative safety of her room, before freezing. When the darkness did not erupt in frenzy, she took another step, tentatively. Orochimaru waited. She was still too far away from him to be killed soundlessly. Agonisingly slowly, she continued walking, craning her eyes and ears for the slightest reason to retreat back to her room. "No such thing, no such thing, all in my head," she muttered, over and over again, a mantra to ward away her nightmares.

_"They won't come back, won't come back…"_ A brief moment, and he saw _himself_ in her place, creeping in the dark, fearing that the Kiri shinobi that murdered his parents would come for _his_ head. _How foolish…_

He waited until she was almost directly beneath him, and then dropped, a quiet rustle of cloth as he detached himself from the darkness. She jumped, opened her mouth to scream, but he was quick, and clutched his fingers over her mouth, kneeing her in the gut to wind her.

"Sorry, child," he whispered to her, his face creasing in a smile. "You have to die here." Elegant fingers crept towards her throat, _itched_ to choke the life from her, whilst he watched her lips turn blue, and her face white… but they would not wrap around her throat. They danced and twitched as if they had a life of their own. Orochimaru blinked, and _saw_. Saw _himself_ there, shivering with fear, as the Kiri-nin wrapped calloused hands around his slender throat. _"Sorry, kid. You're going to die here."_ Reflexively, he glanced over his shoulder, to see whether someone was coming to the girl's rescue, as Sarutobi had come to his.

The girl bit down, teeth sinking into the hand covering her mouth, and Orochimaru hissed. She drew a lungful of air into her lungs, and Orochimaru struck, lightning-fast, pinching a nerve. She collapsed, liquid, in his arms, and Orochimaru swore softly.

"Why… why can't I _kill_ you?" Why did she remind him of himself? He could not work with her on his mind, and he could not kill her until he _knew_ her. Mind made up, he slung the senseless girl over his shoulder, and exited the castle, to go to his temporary base of operations. He had not felt such indecision for a long, long time, and it troubled him.

--

The girl was still firmly asleep, and Orochimaru had no wish to wake her. Disgusted with himself, with his indecision… _This is why I left Konoha! To wash away their weakness!_ How could this girl affect him so? What made her like _him_?

He laid her gently on the bed, and bit his thumb.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu." He placed it to the ground, and a half-dozen snakes wriggled free of the soil.

_"Why have you sssummoned usss, Orochimaru-Sssama?"_

"Watch this girl. Make sure she does not escape – but do not kill her." _No, this was a puzzle in of itself, one that _he_ must solve. What made her like him?_ The snakes hissed angrily, at this menial task, but they did as he complied. They always did. Only those snakes larger than a building did not bow before him.

Settling into a corner, Orochimaru gave each of the snakes a baleful glare, before closing his eyes, and descending into slumber.

_For the first time in… years, he dreamt. Even before he left Konoha, he had not dreamed for so very long… Sarutobi claimed it was because of the Snake Contract he signed, that he was taking on their characteristics, and that reptiles did not dream. _But I have my dream, Sarutobi-Sensei… A dream _you_ can never understand. _The darkness dissolved into light, then colour. Shapes emerged, then voices, and Orochimaru _remembered

_"Oi, Orochi-Teme, what's with the long face?" Jiraiya… loud, brash fool. The white-haired Genin was grinning fiercely, and he clapped a younger Orochimaru on the back. _How could you know? How could you hope to know what's wrong with me?

_"Knock it off, Baka!" Tsunade… vain, fiery fool. She grabbed Jiraiya by the ear, and dragged him off. _You are just children, foolish, ignorant. You do not know _suffering_ as I do.

_"Hey, Tsunade-Hime! I just asked Orochimaru a question!"_ You do not know _loss_ as I do.

_"Yeah, and you should know better, you bastard – Orochimaru's not in a good mood right now!" She had practically _worshipped_ him, back in those early days. Perhaps it was simply finding someone so opposed to her, as a… balance, almost. Orochimaru could no longer remember. His naïveté had been long gone, even before then, but those two… they had still had it then. _

_  
"Now, now, Tsunade, Jiraiya. What would your mothers say if they were to hear you using such language?" Sarutobi-Sensei, his pipe in mouth, smiled at the two of them, as they suddenly set apart their squabble, presenting a united front against the _new_ enemy. _

_"Nah, Ka-San wouldn't mind at all!" Jiraiya said. "She'd probably say the same thing!" _

_"Ka-San doesn't know _anything_! She'd tell me off, sure, but there'd be no reason for it!"_

_"Now, children, don't be so harsh." _

_"Hmm? Why not? It's not like my mother actually does anything for me. She's just a lazy, ugly bitch." Orochimaru stiffened, but nobody noticed. _

_"Well, that's a bit far, Jiraiya…" Tsunade said. _

_"A bit far!? It's not far enough! She's a drunk, stupid, useless around the house, leaves me to do everything… I'd be better off without a…" He didn't have time to finish his sentence, as Orochimaru bowled him to the ground. So shocked was he, that the bigger Genin didn't fight back – Orochimaru was not known for his Taijutsu, and preferred to fight at range, so the thought of him actually fighting close up didn't occur to his team-mates. Orochimaru's spindly hands, with the too-long fingers, closed around Jiraiya's throat, and he smacked his head against the ground – hard. _

_"You're useless." _

_Smack. _

_"You're lazy." _

_Smack. _

_"You're ugly, you're stupid, you're useless!" _

_Smack. Hands released their grip on Jiraiya's throat, travelled down. Orochimaru pressed down on the other Genin's chest, grabbed a handful of shirt, and tore it off, before lunging. Jiraiya screamed when the nails of Orochimaru pierced the skin, and he had not heard a sound as sweet the entire day. _

_"You don't need a heart," he hissed. "You don't deserve a heart – it's worthless to you." Fingernails cutting deeper, his entire hand was shaking as he tried to claw his way through his friend's chest to get to the heart. _

_"O-Orochimaru!" Tsunade shouted, and an instant later Sarutobi lifted the young Genin bodily from Jiraiya. Orochimaru spat at him, and tried to scratch him, and Sarutobi just held him there, eyes filled with sadness, until Orochimaru relented. Jiraiya coughed repeatedly, as Tsunade tried to heal the wound. He glanced weakly at Orochimaru. _

_"Ne… Orochi-Teme… You coulda just told me not to make fun of mothers…" _

_For some reason, Orochimaru found that insanely funny, and laughed loudly, whilst the other three traded anxious glances. _

_--_

He woke with a start, and his eyes instantly met those of his captive, who then quickly glanced at the snakes surrounding her.

"I think… I think I understand…" he said, and smiled without mirth. The girl was him, and he was the girl.

"Let me go," was all she said, and he laughed.

"Your name."

"What?" she hadn't been expecting that.

"Tell me your name." He stood, smiled. _It was absurd!_

"Hebiko," she said, with the faintest trace of bitterness.

"Hebiko… who names their child Hebiko?" _Who names their child Orochimaru?_

"That's none of your business!" she yelled at him. The same fire he used to have, when one insulted his parents.

"Tell me, child, do your parents still live?" The similarities played out before him – the child, unwittingly the method of their parents' demise. How was he to have known? Young and small and foolish, what did the name Kirigakure mean to him? How was he to know that his parents had enemies there – he had not even known they had enemies.

"You killed Kiyoshi... You're here to kill us... I won't let you hurt Ka-San," she replied defiantly. "I'll die before I let you take one more step towards her."

"I see… kukuku." He chuckled, then threw back his head and laughed – damned be the consequences!

"You… shut up! Stop laughing! Let me go!" She was scared, that was plain to see.

"Tell me, child, is your mother… a ninja?" Eyes widened, and the child gave it away. _"Hey, this kid looks like them. Oi, kid! Your folks shinobi?"_ So young, so innocent. Fate repeated itself… "Of course… Then now I know… I know why you are like me. It is a shame…" He gripped her throat in his hands, the hands of the victim-become killer, the child complicit in the murder of his parents. "In different circumstances, I may have even considered you family." Her eyes grew wider at his words, and the soft tone of his voice as he uttered them. _So confused... she does not understand what is going on - Innocent... that is good._

Fingers probed for the jugular, and he punctured it, before letting the girl fall to the ground, choking on her own blood. Wide, terrified eyes looked up at him, trying to form hatred over the confusion. Was that what he looked like, to the Kiri-nin?

Be grateful, child, that I grant you this mercy. I know what it is like to see your parents die before you do. Be grateful that I spare you… the pain." Her eyes filled with tears. She couldn't understand! Why? He supposed that he must have looked like that, when the Kiri-nin tried to squeeze the life out of him, before Sarutobi saved his life. "I… spare you your innocence." You will not be complicit in their deaths. You die pure.

When her limbs fell limp, and her eyes grew dull, Orochimaru spared a few moments of silence, as he considered the hollow feeling within his breast. This… this must be what if feels like to kill a part of yourself, he decided. Consideration. He lost nothing – he had lost his innocence many years ago, when his parents were murdered, not by his hand, but by his words. He had gained… peace of mind. He closed his eyes, collected his thoughts, and the face of Hebiko was nowhere to be found. To kill oneself… How… contemplative, it made him feel. He turned back to his work, left the body for the snakes to devour. He would have to make a visit to the girl's mother, tell her before he killed her that her daughter was pure.

He owed it to her. He owed it to himself. He owed it to the child he had once been. He paused, sent a glance back to the child lying face down, shrouded by her hair. _You weren't like me after all... If you were, you would have survived._ He turned back to his work, and didn't notice then the part within him, the shadow of purity, the chance of redemption, that withered and died.

**A/N:**

**As always, reviews are appreciated and encouraged. I won't promise anything for the next fic, it could be Sasori, could be someone else. Could even be Orochimaru or Zetsu again. (See profile for Zetsu's first fic in the Scarlet Sins series). Oh, and anyone who guesses the main Sin I tried to put across here gets a cookie. :p**


End file.
